Earlier this week, I spent a long afternoon working on this week’s blog post. I wrote about the seasons changing and how perfect it has been to see the shift between summer and winter here. For me, it helps me understand the culture a little deeper…the way cultures develop has a lot to do with the weather that surrounds them. Life rhythms are formed around when the rain comes and when it goes, and watching this community fall back into the rhythm of the rainy season has been really intriguing.
However, after I wrote the post, I forgot to save it and now it’s gone. But that’s okay. Sometimes my thinking goes in cycles, and that post was like the first round that led to a better articulated second round
In March I remember having a conversation that went something like this: “I feel like I’ve hit that point where I’ve learned all I will learn here. Another three months here won’t teach me that much.” I know–I have no idea what I was thinking either. At the time I had begun to feel like because things weren’t new anymore, because I had fallen into a rhythm, what else was there to learn? I can assure you that I was wrong. Of course I was wrong–I had reached that place where I was just living life here, and there is always, always something to learn there.
Watching the seasons change has been exactly one of those things. Understanding the rhythm of a people who live by nature’s hand, people who are up with the sun and in bed when she goes down, has been like finding an idea I want to carry with me always. To provide for their families, they have to steward their time well. They don’t fight against nature, they roll with what comes. They work while there is sun in the morning and when the rain comes in the afternoon, they gather at home to eat and to visit. It’s simple, and lovely.
In our fast paced culture, I feel like we fight against nature in the name of progress. Technology has allowed us to add hours to our days, and in many ways it’s an incredible thing that we are able to do all we are able to do. And as a perfectionist, I love the security that progress gives me–I can guarantee things. I can guarantee when a project will get done. I know for a fact when I’ll be able to call you back. I can look up what the weather will be for next weekend, so I know whether to plan a trip or not. Always being able to follow through on things…I never knew that was something I took for granted.
In the last five months, I’ve written a hundred to-do lists. Every time I write one I think, “That’s totally doable. I can finish this today.” And every single time, it doesn’t happen. It seems like every project has been delayed. Sometimes it’s because I’m still learning how to do life here, and the little things you just know intuitively in your own space don’t come quite as easily here in an unfamiliar space. Other times it’s because of the rain, or because a neighbor drops by. I am only just now learning to anticipate those happenings and plan for them.
It’s been a battle with those perfectionist tendencies to let those things go, to relax and roll with things. Some days I do that better than others. Learning that no matter how hard I work does not guarantee a certain outcome has been a good, hard lesson. The important part is knowing that I worked at it…like I said, it’s something I’d like to carry with me always. That’s why I love living so close to nature, it makes you take a step back and not take yourself (and your plans) quite so seriously. I’ve got one more week here, and it’s going to be quite a different one. Julia and Robbie are in for Solin’s wedding, and then a few more people will be here working and living until after I leave. I’m excited to see what these days bring. I’ll fill you in next week.
Until then! -mariah



